You’re Killing Me, Bram

OK, already in trouble. Actually, I’m lucky I made it this far.

Chapter IV has, at the tail end, Adam meeting Caswall. And Oolanga. We get just enough to tell that he doesn’t like either of them much. And at some point, there’s a dinner, and a tea, and some mind control between Caswall and Lila—the first of many struggles. But it’s all told out of sequence, with half of Chapter V being about mongooses.

I think I’m going to have Chapter V just be a dinner party (a la Dracula) where all the players meet. It’s more interesting, at first, to give Adam and Edgar a human conflict, i.e., they’re interested in the girls. Edgar will be more interested in Lila, and Adam in Mimi which is per the source material and makes sense.

But what if we have Adam bristle at Edgar’s haughtiness? Let’s have Edgar be a shut-in from a family that has been deeply weird for a long time, and deeply into various forms of mind control, as the book shows. So Edgar’s well aware of his station, and used to being catered to, and Adam’s easy nature could set off bad things in Edgar.

Very cool, but now we’re at Chapter VI, the significantly titled “White Worm”. How the hell do I, at this point, introduce the White Worm? I thought it would be cool to have there be inklings of the worm in the first chapter, but it’s a little early to be pulling back the curtain. So what did Bram do here?

Well, he had the staring contest with Lila, with Lady Arabella and Oolanga on Edgar’s side. And Mimi and (sorta but not really helpful) Adam on the other.

WTF. That’s too much. We have no sense of how any of this works yet. Let’s keep it between the four potential lovers. This can also be Adam’s first taste of something supernatural going on. (Although none of this was considered supernatural at the time. Mesmer and all that. Have to consider that.)

This is all done post-facto, and the second half of the chapter is taken up with worm exposition. There is literally no set up here. Sir Nathaniel just up and starts talking worms. Chapter VII just has Adam killing snakes with his mongoose—again, a somewhat difficult thing to introduce organically—there’s a digression about second sight that goes on for way too long considering it’s basically “Hey, uncle, any second sight in our family?” “No.”

And then they go back to the staring contest which I actually cannot tell from multiple readings is supposed to be the same one or a new one. He ends chapter V by saying he has an appointment at Mercy house the next day but it’s too early for him to have gone. Later in the evening, the staring contest is brought up again, and the next chapter, is all about Oolanga and keeping the matter away from Uncle Richard.

Oolanga serves no purpose yet. It’s possible (and less dangerous in Current Year) to leave him out but if I can figure out what he’s good for, I won’t do that. I truly believe that Stoker meant him to be a place for disapproving commentary on the state of race relations, particularly in the South (U.S.)—but at the same time he was dealing with (as noted) a stock character. (See Edgar Rice Burroughs and Robert Howard.)

You’re not helping me much, Bram.